'Oh if she could have her life over again!' (Woolf,8) this sentence was from one of Clarissa's internal monologues and reflecting how painful and tiring she lived ever for her stupid goal of life: being admitted as a good person in others' comments, she thought she would rather die to live her life again. "He had said, 'I have had enough.' ' (Woolf,8) This sentence was said by Clarissa's dead Uncle William who was finally dead in his bed during the war. Uncle William who rather chose to die in the war not to survive showed one side how cruel the war was, and the other side his view of life and death— it was better to die if the world disappointed you. 'There was an emptiness about the heart of life; an attic room.'(Woolf,23) Around this sentence was another internal monologue of Clarissa. She was complaining about how complex and sophisticating her life then was, and how easy her life was, how touching her love was and how pure and innocent she was when she were young. 'He woke with extreme suddenness, saying to himself, 'The death of the soul.' ' (Woolf, 44), Peter Wash described. Before he said 'the death of the soul' he was dreaming — recalling his youth in Bourton with his friends and the girl he loved — Clarissa who finally chose the other one. However, so many years passing, he did not fall in another real love again(even though he thought he did), nor did he succeed in his Indian business or lived a life he hoped ( he was a romanticist), which was hard to accept and remained him of the sweet things when he was young for escaping the reality. 'Suddenly he said, 'Now we will kill ourselves,' when they were standing by the river,......' (Woolf, 50) This was a description of Septimus Smith which were telling the readers what he usually did after the war. From the description, it could be figured out that he was really mentally sick and it was so serious that he incessantly wanted to kill himself and even wanted his wife dead too— which showed that he was truly disappointed with the whole world, disappointed at what it had done to him. So he wanted to 'kill ourselves' because of self—protection and the protection to his dear wife from the ugly world. '......it must be the fault of the world then— that he could not feel.' (Woolf,65) 'Nothing could rouse him.' (Woolf,67)These were two pieces of Rezia Smith's internal monologue about the sweet memories before her husband getting mad and her complaint about her husband and the life then. She felt desperate and thought all the fault— her insane husband— made her life mess was because of the world (the life). This kind of pessimism was one of the reflections of Woolf' s view of life and death. 'He had committed an appalling crime and been condemned to death by human nature. 'I have— I have,' he began, 'committed a crime—' '(Woolf,71) This was one description from Rezia's recall of Septimus. Septimus had ever enrolled and killed people and even saw his best friend killed in the battlefield during the war. It was absolutely that he was not willing to join the army and the war, but life made him have to. That made him feel painful and guilty, and that was one of the reasons to make him commit suicide finally. |
